I turned 30 last year.
And as I entered this new decade of my life, I wanted to reflect back on some of the things I have learned over these past 30 years. Writing down little nuggets of wisdom and knowledge that were passed on to me or that I have learned by experience.
So here's 30 things I wished I had learned sooner:
Time is limited, use it to learn and discover things that you are truly excited about, even if they are very niche and unpopular.
A few years ago, I read Chris Hadfield’s “An astronaut’s guide to life on Earth'' and this book taught me a great lesson on always being prepared. In the book, Hadfield shared that he was a big fan of Elton John and that for that reason he had spent a lot of time rehearsing the song "Rocket Man" with his guitar on the off-chance that he might one day meet his idol. Spoiler: they did meet and he did get to play the song for him. Because at the end of the day, you kinda create your own luck.
Your values are your compass in life. Oftentimes, if we don’t feel good, there is one or more of our values that is not being respected. Acknowledging that is a great way to see where to start making some changes.
I never feel more at peace than hiking in the middle of nowhere by myself which is something I have been craving more and more as I get older. Now when I am feeling too stressed, I try to find time in my schedule to go walk in nature for a little bit and it always helps.
If you feel like you don’t have time to do the things you really wish to do, a great exercise is to look at your past day or week and assess how you’ve been spending your time. When I do that, I usually realise they are a lot of small things I do that are not particularly adding value to my life and that could be switched with more fulfilling activities or even just a moment of rest.
I have always loved to learn about a wide variety of topics but now I am making a more conscious effort to apply those learnings to my daily life instead of just writing them in a notebook and forgetting about it.
When we consume something, whether it’s the media, art, movies or books, we absorb other people’s world views and perceptions. While this is great to get inspired and expand our knowledge, I believe it’s also important to get creative ourselves and express our individuality.
A few years back, I was scrolling on Instagram and I realised it wasn’t making me feel good. So I decided to go through all the accounts I was following and pull a Marie Kondo. If it wasn’t bringing me joy, inspiring me or teaching me new things, it was gone. And that actually did make me feel a lot better.
Because you know what, if they wanted to they would. And so would you.
This one is not a fun one because it forces you to take accountability for yourself but it's quite an eye opener. Especially when it comes to the aspects of your life that you do not like.
Let’s all be a little kinder.
I am the kind of person who needs a lot of alone time but I do realise this is not the case for everyone. Some of my friends have even told me they feel anxious at the idea of spending an entire day by themselves. When you spend time alone, you get to focus on yourself and what you truly want to do and that's exciting too.
I have also learned not to be the one to let go first because you never know how much the other person might need that hug.
One of Don Miguel Ruiz’ Four Agreements is to never make assumptions and I think that’s a very good thing to remember in life. Just because we expect someone to act a certain way does not mean they will or should, especially if we don’t communicate our needs.
Trying to understand where the person is coming from is always very helpful to put feedback in context.
You know that little voice that tells you to stay put because change is scary? Our ego doesn’t like change and it will always try to keep us where we are. The trick is to figure out if it’s “this is putting me in actual danger” scary or “this is not something I am used to” scary.
Also I personally don’t listen to criticism from people I would not go to for advice. Highly recommend.
Trust me on this.
I cared so much about what other people thought of me in my twenties that it almost crushed me. Trying to live up to people’s expectations of me was exhausting and it took a lot of time to start showing up authentically regardless of what other people could say.
Get those 10k steps in whenever you can.
As you get older, you start to change and so do other people. Sometimes this means friendships no longer making sense to you. And that’s ok.
I know it sounds cliché, but the outside will always reflect what's going on the inside.
You don’t have to explain yourself, especially not when it comes to your boundaries.
It’s so easy to compare ourselves to others and feel like we are behind on some imaginary timeline. This used to give me a lot of anxiety (still does sometimes) but I have learned to trust the timing of my life. I try to show up as the best version of myself every day and trust that the universe will open the right doors for me.
Take that nap, the world can wait 20 minutes.
I started traveling by myself because I did not have a go-to person to travel with but also did not want this to prevent me from discovering new places. At first, I did solo city trips over the weekend and that felt very empowering. There’s something really nice about being in charge of your schedule and not depending on other people as you explore a new place.
I first worked with a coach at the age of 25 as I was feeling lost and needed some guidance. Working with her helped me figure out A LOT of things and since then I have worked with a few different coaches which have all helped me tremendously. I am so convinced by coaching that I decided to become a certified life coach myself last year.
My advice would be to just follow what feels right and you’ll end up on the right path.
Just because someone asks you for help does not mean you always have to say yes. Fill your own cup first.
It’s actually just the beginning of real fun.
Love,
